omg so.. this is the first time i got to really be able to write in my journal today.... im at jens right now for thanksgiving.. but omg... i had the weirdest fuckin drea last night..i cant totally remember it now unfortunately...:-\ but it had her in it.. and i think it turned my emotions into physical actions... cuz it was just like a normal day.. and id see her.. and shed like.. taunt me.. so i'd just chase her and be like, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!
and shed always just give me this look.. this look like i should know and then just walk away... it was so weird. cuz i one point in the dream i was talking to her saying i did wanna be friends again and id do anythin too be her friend again... and then i brought up even though i hurt her this time shes put me thru so much and i deserve another chance since i gave her one.
she would just give me that look adn walk away.. it happened many times.. and everytime the situation was dealt differently..a nd everytime.. she gave me a look and walked away.. and id just sigh.. hahahah. idk if that is really telling me something or waht but.. it was weird.. maybe it was telling me no matter what i do... its not gonna happen..