So.. I've decided to write in here yet again.. and I didnt do it the dumb way. I didnt sign on the SN first to get this link.. hah. I just came right to AIM.com so perhaps this will stay undiscovered for a while.
so... I've realized.. liek the subject says.. in order to rebuilding something.. you need to break it down... and.. so i've been breaking down my life.. to rebuild it. And lucky for me, I've been breaking down this friendship.. this long.. and I dont mean this in a bad way, but fucked up friendship. Cuz.. it certainly was.... We... were kinda being 2 fake people.. living in a fake friendship.. but depending so much on this fakeness... Cuz.. when I think about it.. when I was with her... at times.. yes, i was a completely different person. I'd be who she'd want me to be... or who I thought I should be in a situation.. and I think at times she did the same.. at the beginning we had a very negative friendship.. I think maybe she almost felt like she had to have problems to keep the friendship. Which I know I didnt treat her the best the first couple of years.. but I think... with never fixing all our little issues.. we just let ourselves keep building up this big lie... And the only truth and honesty in it, were the emotions.. OK.. I told Annie we could go to subway... so... I guess we are heading out. and I need to finish this when I get back.. and I will.. cuz... it makes sense to me. for once.
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