ok.. so ill finally write today.. about something that happened.... um... oh.. maybe only saturday.. i thouyght it was yesterday but.. so... i know its not a big deal but... i felt awkward after.. so we were... on our way to my college. after we had gotten some dunkin donuts. and i remember right where it was.. we just turned left onto the road that you get off to get on 95... and.. Snow Patrols Hands Open song..
and... theres a part that says Why would I sabotage
the best thing that I have
Well, it makes it easier to know
exactly what I want with my...
and... i looked her in the eyes.. at the first 2 lines and sang it.. and i had to look away.. and i felt really awkward... cuz.. it just.. i mean, shes an important part of my life.. and i felt like i was stating that to her.. and not just singing it.. idk. but i got.. sketched. hah. idk
but.. things are good... besides that I personally have issues... and im pretty sure when i was half asleep i said i love you.. which.. is an issue. but not really. cuz.. i was half asleep. but i cant SAY it... cuz when you actually see a person.. and you try to make that statement.. to me, it doesnt matter how you feel about them. its rough. I can barely say i love you to my mother... and i actually just remembered this.. hah. i doubt she heard me anyways. i can say it if we are like.. joking.. like i ahte you, aaww i love you.. but like.. if its like.. randomly said. random moment. i freak. hell sometimes i cant even say it if she does.. when i state i hate her and she says she still loves me.. hell sometimes im just like.. sure. hahaha.
i just have serious issues. yet i dont.. cuz i survive just fine.. i really dont expect anything back from her. and the more she does for me.. the worse it kinda gets for me for a while.. so id almost just prefer... that she enjoy the lack of having to give anything back to me. hah.
ok.. time to watch shrek 2!!! and take a nap