M A Hall 7: and i prob should not talk about it cuz its really nothing

Its the nothing thats haunted me all the years Ive known you and it always will. So there is no point in dicussing it. Ill always have my fear.. and idk why those things today made me think of you first with all the other possibilities.. but.. with this new turn in things.. idk if it helps or hurts my fear...
i shoudl just not worry about anything.... but i feel like the minute one states "hey, im pretty happy" ... shit will happen. whether its to them or their loved ones... idk.. im just weird.. I can survive without the things i control... but the things i cant control.. im too afraid to lose.. which.. makes me stuck. or just super paranoid.. and im not even high!! its probably this end of the period emotional stage.. and they freaky shit today
maybe if i wasnt thinking about what i was... when it all happened... idk.. i believe in signs.. and that was a sign..

what to do what to do.. i kinda feel like... theres something building.. theres so much left unsaid.. we are living in a fantasy world. and i have a feeling reality will hit soon.. and if we dont deal with it... therell be an issue. anyway it goes.. i see this relationship doomed for disaster.. so i hope im ready... bring it on.. hah.

not too cool. but i cant do shit so.... whatever i guess... i cant do anything about something i dont know... sighs... i dont want to play games.. whatever. im going to bed
....whats up.... your definitely acting differently.... but oh well you say everythigns fine.. so ill believe you.. i wouldnt keep anything from you if you asked.. so hopeuflly youd at least be honest with me even if you didnt tell me why....

so.. i dont like that i dont know what she does when shes rally super upset... and i almost say.. after i said i hoped she didnt do it often.. i wanted to state i hope it wasnt too bad cuz i couldnt imagine life without her... but.. i just. didnt feel right stating it right then.and id think shed know that.. ugh.... i need to go to bed.

I dont see it how she does anymore... and i find no need to bring it up.. cuz it really doesnt matter cuz its fine. :-) Just great how they are. Time for some shut eye... thank goodness... i think im in debt to my body about 3 years of rest... hah.

so.... why do i feel like her and i took 7 steps back.. yet supposedly shit was solved??? ugh.. whatever.. i cant do this now i need to work.. i just... sometimes wish things were different I guess... :-\ i cant ugh.

I love how things work out.. how things had been mentioned a lot.. and all the wondering and then the facebook comment!!!! :-D:-D it really just made my day.. and boy did i need a boost.... sighs.. hopefully ill hear back soon!! Cuz... thatd be a complete boost in my life!! Work time